Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
