New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
