Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
