i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
