Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
