when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Send help, water and tortillas.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
