Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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