I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
