PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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