Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
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