Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
