ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
