I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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