I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
