you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
In America we eat man semen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize