So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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