well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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