You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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