winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
