did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
