apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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