Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
