Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
