Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
