And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
