I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were trust falling into bushes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
