She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
