what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is the high leading the old right now
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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