Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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