I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
