I seem to have left my pride at pride
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
