Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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