All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
