Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
