if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
