Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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