I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
