I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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