I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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