He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
