We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
