So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
