marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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