We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
