yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
