How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
