youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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