I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
