she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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