They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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