Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
