i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
