I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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